We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
