There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
