Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
