I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize