# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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