I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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