I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
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Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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