dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
