she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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