i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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