But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
