he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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