I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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