you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
