I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
