I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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