just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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