Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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