Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
