Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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