is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
