The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
