taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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