It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
