32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sorry my hands just texted you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize