i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
