come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
