I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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