It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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