do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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