I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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