Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
