she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
