I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
