kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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