i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
