You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The best revenge is premature balding
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
