I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize