oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
