Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We need to rekindle our bromance
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
