Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize