i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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