he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
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She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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