There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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