Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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