I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
