Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you told grandpa to call you daddy
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
