is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize