We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
