i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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