I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
