but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
