get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
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I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.