Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We need a shit load of segways right now