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Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
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