"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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