you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
