Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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