How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
