For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
