My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
